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I would like to write more and finish the things that I have been writing but I have not felt inspired to do so lately. I would say it is due to a lack of social interaction. It’s hard to explain but I used to write a lot more when I volunteered at the hospital but after a while it becomes too much being around so many depressed people, it starts to get overwhelming. Especially overwhelming when you try to talk to someone and all they do is yell but I have so much respect for the people that work there full time. I don’t know how you can work in a psychiatric ward year around and not go psycho. So while some of the time the experience was not great on the other hand there are some people there who I’ll never forget, some who I would want to be happy more than myself. I definitely think about people and their situations and try to put myself in their shoes, I think that is one thing I am good at, empathy as oppose to sympathy. I’ve never been depressed or homeless or a drug addict but there is something, I think, that connects us all as humans beings where we can feel for one another and I feel I have lost that as of late. idk I’m rambling it’s 3am I’m going to go to bed.

Oh man, I love MJ but that post just made me think of something from my past. I’ve told this story before on my old blog. I used to be friends with a child molester. It’s always surreal when I think back to it because It just reminds me of how naive we are as children. To make It short, I had just moved to another country so I didn’t know anyone. We had a neighbor he was about 19 or 20 and I was about 13 at the time. It never struck me as odd then why a 20 y/o would hang out with a 13 y/o. So basically he would always invite me to his house we would play video games and then it would always end with him showing me porn but then later on (i knew him for about a year) he would start masturbation in front of me and would show me his penis. I remember thinking well this is odd but I really didn’t think much else of it. Luckily I moved, I was traumatized by it because luckily he never touched me inappropriately. The only affect I can think of that It may have had is that I NEVER play video games. I have not had a gaming system since dreamcast. I can talk about this openly because like I said I’m lucky that I moved and he didn’t touch me. So mostly I just look at the situation like I was such a dumb kid, who knows what could have happened. I think that we should teach young kids what kind of things are inappropriate because I remember not seeing anything wrong with it because I didn’t know because of that I never told anyone, “hey ___ sometimes masturbates in front of me”. Which then would raise a red flag to anyone.

Love is very confusing. I’ve never been in love but i seem to write about it a lot; thus leading me to think that I’m a hopeless romantic. Though when presented the opportunity to be in a relationship I back away.  The one serious relationship i was in lasted for three years. For our anniversary on Christmas I bought her a 700 dollar promise ring and then ended the relationship two months later. I think that says everything about my feelings towards love; I want a commitment but I don’t. It’s confusing.

1. Laughter is the best medicine.
2. Whenever life sucks remember it can always suck more.
3. If you’re ever feeling depressed see 1 & 2
4. When visiting another country eat the food and ask for seconds, no matter how bad it is. 
5. When in another country be kind, smile and remember you are a guest in their country.
6. If you find yourself in trouble in another country you didn’t follow 4 & 5. It wont end well.
7. When having sex with a virgin it’s never good when they’re on top. Whether guy or girl. 
8. There are only 2 things that feel almost as good as sex: pooing and the cool side of the pillow.
9. If you don’t agree with 8 you should get a colon cleansing. There is a direct correlation with excrement and sleep patterns.
10. Always smile at a stranger if they look your way. It may mean more than you know and you could be that stranger one day.
11. Some strangers can be creepy but you shouldn’t be mean, they could be crazy.
12. Make friends; see 10 for possible candidates. 
13. Don’t be afraid to meet people unlike yourself.
14. Every once in a while turn off your phone, tv and computer for a day and do something you enjoy.
15. Sometimes it’s nice to be by yourself.